we’re all the same

Next door to the place we rent for our monthly worship are these boarding homes for many formerly homeless and persons with mental illness. And we’ve sporadically gone over and tried to find ways to love them. Honestly it’s been hard. We’re just beginning to understand [after 4+ years] what the issues are. We’ve tried different things – some things worked well and other things failed royally: clothes drives, small Bible studies, simple worship services, etc. What we’ve learned is that so many of them live very lonely existences, suffering from all of sorts of problems [some self-imposed and others just by consequence]. They live lonely existences because many of their families have rejected them, people generally don’t talk to them and they are a “forgotten” people in the system.

So what we’ve been doing [until God tells us otherwise] is that we go over, bring lunch for all of us and just hang out. We’ve been doing this off and on over the course of the last year. We ask them how they are doing, what their story is, where they are from, etc. And we ask them if they need any prayer and we pray. And that’s about it – there’s nothing fancy, we don’t stay terribly long. We just share a meal and be friends.

And what it’s done is remind us that there’s no reason to be afraid – these are people most wouldn’t talk to on the street. But they’re people just like us – who have experienced some hard moments, who are working through their struggles and are just needing a reminder that they matter in this world. The truth is that we’re all the same.

We went yesterday and had a great time in the sun, eating Chinese food and talking life. We’ve been doing it for a while, but I think we are just beginning to get why we need to be there [for both our good] and we’re slowly understanding Jesus’ heart to love the least. I got a hug from James Taylor yesterday… he said, “You guys are good people… you’re our buddies.” This is after 4+ years of knowing each other. Things don’t happen overnight. And God has used our time there to birth something in them and in us.

We got this letter today from Michelle who is a resident there:

Dear Elton and family,their friends,and their church community;

THANK-YOU!!!,very much for the fun get-together and lunch that was put on by you guys yesterday here at the Victorians Independant living community.Everybody that I talked to said that they had a good time,and to tell you “Thank-you!!!We feel very honored to have you and the prescence of GOD here every time you come and fellowship with us.Through the love of Christ,you show consideration and compassion for us-we really do appreciate this.May god bless you always,in the great work you guys(and gals) do for us and everyone your hearts “Touch”.We are truly blessed.

With love,through God, The residents of the Victorians.
ps- Great food!!! )))))))

Also posted @ ihaven.org.

you over arms and legs

The past five years for Sarah and I have been the toughest of our lives. We’ve had to endure some tragic moments, work through the realities of marriage and struggle to learn on the job as we lead our church. We’ve had every range of emotion – from elation to frustration; from awe-filled to awful. That last one doesn’t really work, but oh-well.

And God seems to keep coming back to one question, “Do you love Me more than everything else?” And there are moments I feel like I answer well and yet life puts it to the test again – whether it’s frustration with our church or working through the pains of having children [or not having children]. Life finds a way to put what you believe in the crucible.

I find myself needing to choose over and over… is it God that I love and follow? Or is it success? Or respect? Or fame? Or security? It’s always the simple truths that I have to come back to.

I was flipping channels and I came across some random TBN-ish station where they were interviewing Nick Vujicic. He was born without arms and legs, radically received Jesus and is now traveling the world as an evangelist. And I caught the interview right when he said, “God asked me, ‘Nick, would you rather have me or arms and legs?’” Nick shared how he was whining to God about not being like everyone else… and in his moment of despair, God asked him that question and told him that he’ll do things he’ll never imagine doing. But it doesn’t include arms and legs.

And I started thinking – most of us [including most Christians] will think that’s just down right cruel. That God would pit himself against something like arms and legs. It’s borderline abusive. But the reality of our world is this – we will never be free if God isn’t the one we desire most. We will worship, build our worth or grow co-dependent on anything we can put our hands on. And I’m realizing that I’m never really free if Jesus isn’t the one I love most – if his opinion, his approval, his embrace isn’t the most important one.

I’m finding that everything I do puts that to the test… when I talk to people I’ve never met, lead with ideas that I “think” are from God or endure failure in things I try, it always comes up… “Is pleasing me, obeying me, following me… reason enough?” He has to ask me that… he has to… for my own good. Most of the time, I hate it.

And I have to choose every day… and often multiple times a day [or I won't make it]… “Alright Jesus… it’s you that I want. It’s your opinion that matters, it’s your truth that I believe, it’s your love that I bank on. I choose you.” Over the fleeting affection of fame, attention, respect, success. And yes, maybe even arms and legs. And the freedom that he promises begins to pour into my soul… sometimes just little droplets… but other times in great outpourings. And it can’t be found anywhere else. God pitting himself against my desires/dreams/idols is what I need whether I like it or not.

structure getting in the way of jesus

Before we get too far into this – I don’t think theres’s a magic “method” that does it right. There’s a reason why the Bible says very little about church models. Frankly it’s so we wouldn’t rely on structure and hunger and depend on Jesus. With that being said, there is a problem when our structures get in the way of seeing Jesus.

I’m email convo-ing with my friend Carl and we were talking about the shift in opinions on the need for regular Sunday worship. We both agreed there’s nothing inherently wrong with meeting Sundays – it’s not so much the structure, but nurturing communities where we live our faith tangibly among those who have yet to know Jesus. So it doesn’t matter what you do. Sort of.

But my problem with stopping the conversation there is that we’ll just keep doing what we’re doing and not ponder whether our structures are communicating a different message. I contended with C-dog that the predominant structures in our present season of history are keeping us from really seeing Jesus. And even though structures are morally neutral, we also have to plant alternative forms in order break us out of a myopia and begin seeing Jesus clearly.

I’ll just throw out a few reasons and then follow up with a few more in another post. In a previous post, I said that the organizing principle needs to be “making disciples.” Making disciples means developing followers of Jesus and followers of Jesus can be broken down to be lovers of God and the world. And our development as disciples is measured by 2 things… LOVE and OBEDIENCE.

But the predominant structure of a weekly Sunday worship and small group accessories communicates the following:

1. The primary expectation of being a Christian is going to church, behaving well and tithing. Why is that? Because nothing dictates the actions of the church more than Sunday attendance. When there is little Sunday attendance, we need to hire a better preacher, provide better coffee and send out more flyers. When it’s high, we need to find ways to keep people going on Sundays by doing BBQs, having a better children’s ministry or a larger worship production. We can talk about “living out” what we believe, but our structure and how we implement it tells us that being a Christian means going consistently to church and doing the Christian-ish things that keep a Sunday worship going.

When I speak with my parent’s generation of Christians, it’s almost impossible for them to define their faith outside of going to church. When I say we don’t meet every Sunday, the first thing they say is, “Where do they go on Sundays then?” And I say, no where… and the look comes on the face of 97% of them… disgust, confusion, shock. It’s like I started wearing my underwear on my head. I even had someone say, “How will they know they’re Christian then?”

When we started NOT meeting every Sunday [we were meeting every Sunday at one point], people said it took a while to get used to it. They’d say, “When I’d wake up on Sunday morning and realized that I didn’t need to go to church… I’d feel… a little… guilty.” They didn’t miss community/worship, they felt guilty. Most people felt like sub-par Christians for not going to church. And their faith was defined more by what they did then by what Jesus has done.

In summary, the Gospel says one thing, our structures say another.

more from “tribes”

From my friend David – it’s so short, I’ll just repost the whole thing… his quote and commentary. It’s very true. David’s last statement reminds me of the response the Pharisees had when this heretical Jesus guy started threatening the “institution”; they were very aware of what was at stake – per John 11:48.

I’m reading Tribes, written by Seth Godin. One thing caught my mind:

Heretics are the new leaders. The ones who challenge the status quo, who get out in front of their tribes, who create movements.

It’s an ever changing landscape, and people no longer want the usual, the status quo of doing things, whether it’s in business, community organizations, or even church. The people who are happiest with their job, are often the ones that are most productive and making the greatest impact. People no longer settle with just getting a paycheck, or just going to a Sunday service.

The sad part is that most people think heretics are trouble and should be silenced.

the people are the product

As I talk to more people about our community I realize that the disconnect most often begins at this point: that church is not something you build/create, but the church is who you are.

Now this isn’t new news. It has been long talked about among many of this generation’s church planters and failed mega-church dreamers. I can hear them now, “We need to BE the church! Not DO church!” But in the end, most people still do church. I see this because many still see church as this thing you build.

It’s not necessarily all wrong in that there is an environment/ethos that each person of a church community contributes to. And that “thing” then becomes the driving force to do/build/create “church” as we know it.

Though some of that isn’t wrong, we miss something very crucial… that if church is something outside of you then that thing can easily become the “product” – the thing we produce. Whether it be the physical aspect of the building or an expansion of the organizational entity [more groups/worship services, etc.]… that becomes the thing we produce. And we miss out on why Jesus does what he does.

Jesus didn’t die on the cross for more buildings or even more worship services. He died so that the world [you, me and the person you hate] would be reunited with the one who loves and discover for themselves their need to love him back. And it’s this love relationship that begins a transformation in us that we can’t do ourselves. And that transformation within us that spurs on a transformation in others. In the end, Jesus died for you and me.

Which means that we’re the goal… we’re the destination… we’re the reason Jesus bore our shame and guilt so that we would live and live freely, fully and purposefully. You see, goals are never expendable. They’re your goals. You don’t give those up. But the means by which you get them are expendable… you use the ones that work and ditch the ones that don’t.

When the entity of church becomes the goal, the people are expendable. But if people are the goal, the entity of the church [methods/structure] is expendable. It becomes about developing people and just finding the means to get there. It’s not building the church and finding the people to get there.

Now we can go 100 ways with this from here on out… questions come up like, “Is it wrong to build buildings?” or “Why do we always veer towards putting out a product?” or “Why is this post so darn long?”

But we’ll go with one short example…

We do a Sunday worship thing once a month. That requires another post all together I know. But in anycase, lately I have had some of my leaders take turns doing the corporate teaching time. They learn how to prepare, listen for the Holy Spirit, practice their public speaking and learn how to shepherd people from that vantage point. It’s overall been very good. No outright heresy as of yet. They’ve all had very powerful things to say… and have helped people understand Jesus better. It’s not perfect and they have plenty of room to grow… but they’re doing great. I’m proud of them.

why we do what we do

As the primary instigator of Haven, I’m often asked why we do what we do. Those who have gone to church for any significant length of time always have the most difficulty understanding. And I don’t necessarily blame them as reflected in this post. When you’ve done something for so long and have understood it to be true, it’s hard not to have extreme reactions.

But the dialogue on why we do what we do always begins with the organizing question [principle] of “How do we make disciples?” And “disciples” would then need to be defined as being “wholly devoted followers of Jesus.” And even this could be broken down to being genuine and passionate lovers of God and people.

I realize that the mistake most make is that they always begin the conversation with form. I heard a prominent pastor share about how he started his church and he said that he didn’t really know where to start except that he needed a Sunday worship and Sunday school. A few years down the line, he had an epiphany that his forms [structure] were the things that were hindering him from doing what he really wanted but he never saw it.

This isn’t to say that churches need to abandon weekly Sunday worship services… but that we should evaluate what we do by what we want to accomplish. The church has borrowed too much from the business world, but asking this simple management question seems necessary.

A lot of things also play into this with regards to my own leadership style, my spiritual giftings/bent, etc. So I’ll start a few string of posts explaining why we do what we do and I’m sure that’ll help our people and help me articulate what has been ruminating in my head for these past few years.

More to come.

uncomfortable = normal

Originally taken from here. An excerpt from Seth Godin’s book Tribes.

Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. The scarcity makes leadership valuable. If everyone tries to lead all the time, not much happens. It’s discomfort that creates the leverage that makes leadership worthwhile. In other words, if everyone could do it, they would, and it wouldn’t be worth much.

It’s uncomfortable to stand up in front of strangers.
It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail.
It’s uncomfortable to challenge the status quo.
It’s uncomfortable to resist the urge to settle.

When you identify the discomfort, you’ve found the place where a leader is needed. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.

egotistical religion: when the method contradicts the message

A quote from comedian John Cleese from Monty Python fame :

“I think that the real religion is about the understanding that if we can only still our egos for a few seconds, we might have a chance of experiencing something that is divine in nature. But in order to do that, we have to slice away at our egos and try to get them down to a manageable size, and then still work some practiced light meditation. So real religion is about reducing our egos, whereas all the churches are interested in is egotistical activities, like getting as many members and raising as much money and becoming as important and high-profile and influential as possible. All of which are egotistical attitudes. So how can you have an egotistical organization trying to teach a non-egotistical ideal? It makes no sense, unless you regard religion as crowd control. What I think most organized religion—simply crowd control.”

I rarely do a lot of ranting via the blog – and God has slowly worked down a lot of bitterness in me. So this is not so much a rant against the church, but an acknowledgment that the world sees the disconnect between the message and the method [medium]. We think we can use whatever means to communicate the Gospel… as long as it goes out. But our method is contradicting our message and everyone knows it.

It’s in line with what John says in his Gospel that the Word was God… the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us [1:1,14]. Jesus wasn’t just communicating a message – he was the message. He embodied the message – how he lived, who he was, his identity, his purpose, his being was as much the message as the words that came out of his mouth.

We need to recognize how our method is contradicting our message… and begin to repent and reform.

following the footsteps

I always crave to hear about my parents’ history… how they ended up where they are at. And whenever I ask them questions like, “How did you get together?” or “Why did you make this decision?” it’s always followed by a very short and undescriptive response. Did they not want to share the foibles and failures it took to get to where they were? Were they just tired? Maybe it wasn’t the right time for a long story?

So whenever I get to hear the inner workings of how things came to be in my family, I get very intrigued. It happened more with my Mom as I grew older – she was willing to share her mistakes, her reasoning for things, the things she learned along the way. And I’m so grateful for that… so much of what she shared continues to pour life into me today.

But my Dad is a different story – not so much that he doesn’t want to share, but that he likes phrasing everything into a lesson. Which is good in some cases, but belaboring in others. And often we remember and learn the most when we’re able to peer into the heart and mind of the person who’s sharing, learn from where they went wrong or right and begin to live that out in our own lives. We just don’t learn as much from static propositional statements [note to preachers].

So Dad and I were talking and the topic was his decision to go into the food science – he studied at UC Davis at the urging of my grandfather to prepare to take over the family fishery business. It’s funny, but my life would be very different right now had my Dad been in the fish business and thus moved back to Taiwan. I would definitely be a Chien-Ming Wang fan for sure.

when living really means dying

Most days I’m steamrolling through… trying to “get’er done”, keep the truck moving and not stop until we get to the “prize”. I’m caught up in that pursuit most days. It’s fueled by a passion for Jesus. But I’d be lying if that higher-octane stuff wasn’t mixed in with some low-octane, dirt-filled selfish ambition to prove to the world that I’m amazing at what I do. That one day an edifice to my glory would be erected in my honor to my great accomplishments in this world. I’m no less perverted than the OG’s planning to build their tower in Babel.

My friend and I were talking about Dieter Zander recently and I asked him what’s going on with him. He was one of the first guys in North America to leave a “successful” megachurch career because he realized that there was something achingly missing. I wasn’t in tune with all his whereabouts, but he had written one of the first books about reaching Generation X people and had been slowly moving to smaller and smaller communities, rediscovering what a spiritual family really ought to be. Last I heard he was trying to start house churches in San Francisco and was no longer bent on doing the Sunday church thing. We’ve never met, but he has always been a passive role model.

I found out through my friend that Dieter had suffered a stroke in early 2008. And since then he hasn’t been the same – has not been able to resume any sort of normal ministry life. And it’s been a slow rehabilitation to just being able to speak and function normally.

Recently he had a party – a party to grieve and let go of the “old” life and embrace the “new” life. People came to share about his impact in their life. And I can imagine it being as bitter sweet as can be. He analogized it this way, “I feel like I’ve taken off my old coat, and put it down, and I’m putting on a new coat. I felt sad going to the party, like I was wearing my old coat, still wanting to do ministry the way I have for 25 years … same old familiar way. I put my coat down. It’s a transition to what’s next.”

I was talking to Sarah about it and it got me a little choked up… to have to die to something you’re not ready or wanting to die to… but you have to. It’s like having something ripped out of your hands. We experience it in small ways in a lot of things. But with something like this, it’s much more encompassing. And when it gets taken from you, you have a choice to keep dreaming of what it was like in the old days and remain in this constant state of bitterness. Or you can embrace what has come and begin looking at life from the new set of eyes you’ve been given.