EL’s Dribble

My wife reminds me often that I should blog more. There are good things to share, struggles to reveal and God to acknowledge. I’m hesitant at times because I wonder about that line. The line that you cross when genuine, authentic expression becomes increasingly detrimental and decreasingly beneficial. As much as we strive for pure, unadultered transparency, there is a point where it does more harm than good. Though for 97% of people, I think their fears keep them far from that line. Far…

In anycase… I look at our church sometimes and even though we are looking more and more like the original vision that God gave us, it never turns out exactly the way you think it should. And that is both good and bad. This past Sunday, we met for our monthly worship celebration and there are things that we do that I think are hard for any “normal” church to do: group sharing, discussion time, serving one another communion, goofy dancing, etc. Granted you can do almost anything with only 35 people.

Is this how I imagined it? Yes and no… I love that our family is growing in their willingness to share their lives. I’m thrilled that we are more open to the Spirit and less worried about fitting the mold. I’m excited that when we worship… I think it’s for real. Meaning that we worship God. God! And are dependent less on having a band hype us up. Mind you, I’m fine with real bands and some pyrotechnics [whatever that means], but it’s great to see that in our people. There was almost a “screw everyone else… we’re going to be ourselves!” kind of feel to it. That seems good… I think.

At the end, I shared a little about communion and as we have done in the past, I passed out two sets of communion elements [plate of matza and a goblet of juice]. As we stood in a circle, the first person would pronounce that “this is the body and blood of Christ, His life now in you.” After the second person takes the elements, they would turn to the third person and serve them communion pronouncing the same blessing… and so on until everyone in the circle is served.

After Luanne received the elements, she turned around to present them to her husband Alan and before she could get the words out, she busted out in laughter. The kind of laughter that you try incessantly to hold in. But you quickly realize that any effort is futile. Luanne’s got to step out. Matza is flying out of her mouth. The elements continue on in the circle, but Graziella then busts out laughing during closing prayer. People are looking around – solemn has gone completely out the door. These are the more “mature” ladies in our community… the ones that we look up to. Rachel said, “Normally the older ones are the ones who need to reign in the younger ones… but not this time!” When Paul talks about disorderly worship, we might have resembled those same clowns in the first century.

I think a few years ago I would have really been disturbed by that. I would have had some kind of theological anger churning within me. I might even be embarrassed for the people that I lead… but I don’t feel that way. We don’t do “church” real well… I think that’s pretty much obvious. But slowly, we’ve grown as a community… we take ourselves less seriously. Have taken God more seriously. Are able to laugh off the quirkiness. Are beginning to be more real with our followership of Jesus. We want the real thing and not the facade. I think we have to since the facade isn’t a whole lot to be proud of right now! It’s slow and incremental, but getting there nonetheless.

We’re not great practitioners… but I think we were good sons and daughters this past weekend. I think that’s worth more right? Suffice it to say – it was a good Sunday. Not the kind of good that I would have imagined [or wanted] 3 years ago. But the kind of good that I have learned to treasure and be thankful for.

I’m here in Riverside attending a denominational workshop. I have to admit that being the person that I am and doing the stuff I’m doing, going to these things isn’t the highlight of my “job.” My whole philosophy of church, life and what it means to be a follower of Jesus has changed so radically in the past 4 years. To be honest, I think I knew it all along, but ended up slowly buying into the business of church instead. That last sentence sounds like a bitter rant from a house church guy – but I don’t think I’m bitter. Maybe I’m just in denial.

I was speaking with a relatively senior leader in our denomination – someone I haven’t seen in a while but knew that I was church planting. And he asked how the church was doing. I shared that I thought it was going well though never without a few hiccups. And he asked whether we had “launched” yet; and I gave some shifty answer though ending my short response with “we’re a little different then most churches.” Which honestly… isn’t that what every church planter says? The guy who sets up some candles next to the communion table… I’m sure he says the same thing.

So this senior leader then asks how we are different and then I give the all too vague and threatening answer of, “We’re a house church.” Which frankly is way to unhelpful and not terribly fair for my senior authority. When you say “house church” what do you think of? For many… it’s heresy. Or “just starting.” Or “no results.” And then he asked how many and I said three [house churches] and he asked when will I join them all together and I said I’m not going to and he asked when will I join them together and I said we meet for a corporate worship once a month and he asked when would I join them together.

And then he asked whether I “pastor” all three church and I said of course not because that would not truly be multiplying [we're at a workshop on "true multiplication"] and he looked over at my mentor and asked:

“Does the district allow that?”

Now this might turn into a “house-church-guy-rant.” I find it rather disheartening that we all read the same Bible and have done so for many years. We all profess to have gone to seminary and have written countless expositions on the church, evangelism, gospel, theology and other topics that regular people rarely talk about. We have had our years of laboring to include ourselves in on the work that God is doing to bring his kingdom to earth. And his response to people meeting in the home to do church is:

“Does the district allow that?”

My mentor [whom I think does sort of gets what we're doing, but maybe not entirely] went to bat for me. Gave our senior leader all the “right” answers… or the ones he wanted to hear. Incorporated the phrase “cell-church” because it’s a “proven and published” model; vouched for my integrity and my being a real follower of Jesus [thank God]. He also said that someone else is doing it somewhere in the US within our denomination and that it was a-OK with him.

And then he asked me when I was going to join all three churches together. Just kidding.

He then said that it was good that we are trying to be creative and try different models. Every time I get that response the response I get in my head is, “There is absolutely nothing creative about what we do. Nothing. Unless you think trying to take Jesus seriously is being creative.” Wow… THAT is bitter house-church guy. Strike that from the record!

It’s just day one…