EL’s Dribble

Next door to the place we rent for our monthly worship are these boarding homes for many formerly homeless and persons with mental illness. And we’ve sporadically gone over and tried to find ways to love them. Honestly it’s been hard. We’re just beginning to understand [after 4+ years] what the issues are. We’ve tried different things – some things worked well and other things failed royally: clothes drives, small Bible studies, simple worship services, etc. What we’ve learned is that so many of them live very lonely existences, suffering from all of sorts of problems [some self-imposed and others just by consequence]. They live lonely existences because many of their families have rejected them, people generally don’t talk to them and they are a “forgotten” people in the system.

So what we’ve been doing [until God tells us otherwise] is that we go over, bring lunch for all of us and just hang out. We’ve been doing this off and on over the course of the last year. We ask them how they are doing, what their story is, where they are from, etc. And we ask them if they need any prayer and we pray. And that’s about it – there’s nothing fancy, we don’t stay terribly long. We just share a meal and be friends.

And what it’s done is remind us that there’s no reason to be afraid – these are people most wouldn’t talk to on the street. But they’re people just like us – who have experienced some hard moments, who are working through their struggles and are just needing a reminder that they matter in this world. The truth is that we’re all the same.

We went yesterday and had a great time in the sun, eating Chinese food and talking life. We’ve been doing it for a while, but I think we are just beginning to get why we need to be there [for both our good] and we’re slowly understanding Jesus’ heart to love the least. I got a hug from James Taylor yesterday… he said, “You guys are good people… you’re our buddies.” This is after 4+ years of knowing each other. Things don’t happen overnight. And God has used our time there to birth something in them and in us.

We got this letter today from Michelle who is a resident there:

Dear Elton and family,their friends,and their church community;

THANK-YOU!!!,very much for the fun get-together and lunch that was put on by you guys yesterday here at the Victorians Independant living community.Everybody that I talked to said that they had a good time,and to tell you “Thank-you!!!We feel very honored to have you and the prescence of GOD here every time you come and fellowship with us.Through the love of Christ,you show consideration and compassion for us-we really do appreciate this.May god bless you always,in the great work you guys(and gals) do for us and everyone your hearts “Touch”.We are truly blessed.

With love,through God, The residents of the Victorians.
ps- Great food!!! )))))))

Also posted @ ihaven.org.

The past five years for Sarah and I have been the toughest of our lives. We’ve had to endure some tragic moments, work through the realities of marriage and struggle to learn on the job as we lead our church. We’ve had every range of emotion – from elation to frustration; from awe-filled to awful. That last one doesn’t really work, but oh-well.

And God seems to keep coming back to one question, “Do you love Me more than everything else?” And there are moments I feel like I answer well and yet life puts it to the test again – whether it’s frustration with our church or working through the pains of having children [or not having children]. Life finds a way to put what you believe in the crucible.

I find myself needing to choose over and over… is it God that I love and follow? Or is it success? Or respect? Or fame? Or security? It’s always the simple truths that I have to come back to.

I was flipping channels and I came across some random TBN-ish station where they were interviewing Nick Vujicic. He was born without arms and legs, radically received Jesus and is now traveling the world as an evangelist. And I caught the interview right when he said, “God asked me, ‘Nick, would you rather have me or arms and legs?’” Nick shared how he was whining to God about not being like everyone else… and in his moment of despair, God asked him that question and told him that he’ll do things he’ll never imagine doing. But it doesn’t include arms and legs.

And I started thinking – most of us [including most Christians] will think that’s just down right cruel. That God would pit himself against something like arms and legs. It’s borderline abusive. But the reality of our world is this – we will never be free if God isn’t the one we desire most. We will worship, build our worth or grow co-dependent on anything we can put our hands on. And I’m realizing that I’m never really free if Jesus isn’t the one I love most – if his opinion, his approval, his embrace isn’t the most important one.

I’m finding that everything I do puts that to the test… when I talk to people I’ve never met, lead with ideas that I “think” are from God or endure failure in things I try, it always comes up… “Is pleasing me, obeying me, following me… reason enough?” He has to ask me that… he has to… for my own good. Most of the time, I hate it.

And I have to choose every day… and often multiple times a day [or I won't make it]… “Alright Jesus… it’s you that I want. It’s your opinion that matters, it’s your truth that I believe, it’s your love that I bank on. I choose you.” Over the fleeting affection of fame, attention, respect, success. And yes, maybe even arms and legs. And the freedom that he promises begins to pour into my soul… sometimes just little droplets… but other times in great outpourings. And it can’t be found anywhere else. God pitting himself against my desires/dreams/idols is what I need whether I like it or not.