…random thoughts and experiences of a wounded healer.

We had our annual community retreat this past weekend and as always it was a very blessed time. But I’ve been to enough retreats to know that the value is not so much in what transpires during, but what happens after.

The primer for our weekend was “intimacy with God,” and how being near Jesus, listening and responding to his voice is the key to living a life of purpose and significance. And honestly, there’s nothing new about that topic… which begs the question of whether there’s anything really new at all. Neil and Dana Gamble came to lead our time; and to be honest I’m not sure they taught anything that most of our people hadn’t heard before.

But what they did was “made” us live out what we’ve been taught. Because the crime of the church is simply that we don’t believe [and thus live] what we already know. And the world knows it.

Neil and Dana spent the first half teaching us one thing in a multiplicity of ways – “just believe what the Bible says.” Not rocket science. And to be honest I can sense that our guys were getting a little frustrated, probably thinking, “So… now what?”

But later in the afternoon they made us practice what we learned… practice “intimacy”… and actually believe the Bible when it says, “Ask and it will given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

First it was this – ask God what he wants to share with you and listen intently for the first thing that comes to mind. Because why would God not respond immediately? Neil then selected a handful of us to share the word/picture/feeling that came in 1-2 minutes of waiting/listening. And as each person shared, they were surprised at how each revelation was specific and appropriate for them. A sampling:

CK: Mission.
LN: It is well.
DS: I love you.

Knowing many of our people, I knew myself that the words they were getting were dead on.

We asked, “How do I know its God and not my own mind or the devil?” And Neil’s response was, “Why wouldn’t it be God?” And you could tell we were all thinking, “Well I guess that’s true huh?” There were a few more parameters we discussed [which can be elaborated later], but the gist was this… why wouldn’t God respond to his children? Why wouldn’t he want to give us a word that’s right for us? And we discovered that our doubting or wondering whether God would even speak or whether we can hear him is often the devil combating God’s truth with a lie.

So Neil cranks it up a notch and has us listen to God for a word for someone else. Yikes. So we start out with five of us praying over Dana and we give her the first words/pictures/emotions that come to mind. And as each word comes out, Dana explains how each word is significant. Pretty mind blowing.

But as we subbed Dana for different people, having different groups of five pray over each person, the words that came up were so alarmingly accurate and piercing that we could not dispute the fact that God was there. We couldn’t help but to feel so close to him that night. It was divinely weird. Hearing words for ourselves, hearing words for others and experiencing breakthrough in every way.

And many of the questions we had didn’t really need to be answered because we knew we had the key to unlocking many of them – the voice of a God who cares, knows our pain and loves us in all our brokenness.

I took a few things away from this:

• Training People to Listen to God > I have always taught on intimacy but didn’t quite know how to train people in it. I think this weekend’s time gave me a picture of how to help others do it for themselves. But it also revealed to me a fear that I have… that if I ask people to listen for God and they don’t hear them, then I’ve set them up for failure. I don’t like failing. And I think I’ve held back on pushing people all the way because I worry that they won’t get it. And if they don’t get it, then it’s my fault. The truth is this: it’s not my fault. And there’s no better place then to lead people into a space where they can sit alone with God, wrestle with the divine and then find his eternal embrace. The word for me is “trust”.
• Listen and Respond More > This weekend was a reminder for me that I also need to keep listening and responding and expecting miracles in my life. I have spurts: times where I hear him clearly, respond boldly and move courageously. But there are many times where I doubt, let the lies come in and live in fear. And when that happens the miracles are few and far between. Miracles can be the miraculous healing we see on TV. But a miracle can be having just the right word for someone at the right time. God placing it in my mind and me just giving it out. That’s a miracle because God did it and I didn’t. My challenge: keep listening and responding. And I’ll keep seeing miracles.

So as of this Tuesday, two days after our retreat… let me share a few miracles and misses.

• Customer Service > On Monday, I was speaking with the United Airlines customer service agent located out of New Delhi. We had a great conversation as she was looking up flights for me. And as I was talking with her, I asked God, “Is there anything you want me to say to her?” And slowly God began to tell me, ‘Tell her that Jesus loves her.” So I got all nervous of course and as the conversation came to an end, I knew my time was running out and I jaggedly inserted, “Hey, well… I just want to say… uh… God bless you as you continue with your work as a customer service agent.” And she was very grateful and said thank you and told me that she enjoyed our conversation very much. But here’s the thing… I knew what I was supposed to say was “Jesus loves you.” Not God bless you [did she sneeze?] or God be with you or even God loves you. But JESUS loves you. And I didn’t do it. I choked.
• Morning Meeting > I was talking with a pastor friend this morning and he was sharing some of his frustrations and struggles. And all of a sudden I felt like God was giving me insight on what this guy needed to hear. And as my friend kept talking, God kept confirming the direction of where this conversation needed to go. I began sharing stuff I never anticipated talking about; sharing struggles, lessons learned and a few words that were very specific to him. My friend said somewhere in the middle of our conversation, “Man, God is speaking right now.” And I realized that this was a little miracle – God placing words in me and me just giving them out. I could explain it away by saying that I have some experience with talking to younger guys in ministry, but I would be selling God short. And I had to acknowledge that it was God leading and I just went where he told me to go.
• Panera Lady > I’m sitting at Panera today. Because I wanted a Chicken Dijon Panini and I was taking an “alone” break after spending time with my pastor friend. And there at a table in front of me was sitting a woman looking very forlorn – looking out the window into the rainy suburban landscape. And I felt like God was saying, “You need to pray for her.” And I was like… crap. I have to approach her? I’m not my wife or JMa or Jia. I’m not big on talking to strangers. But as I sit there, I’m increasingly uncomfortable… I keep hearing, “Pray for her.” So I get the nerve to walk up to her and I say, “I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like I’m supposed to pray for you.” And she says, “Sorry… no speak English.” So here’s the thing… I knew God wanted me to pray for her. And I sat back down and just prayed for her. So three ways to look at this: God wanted me to pray for her and not necessarily to walk up to her. Which is totally fine and I did it and I don’t feel bad for doing so. Second – her broken English was a little too good for someone who doesn’t speak English. If she didn’t speak English, how could she have ordered? Maybe she knew God wanted to touch her and she recoiled. Her “bad” unfortunately. Third – she thought I was a freak. For any of those – no biggie. I heard God and did what he told me to do. If I didn’t get it quite right, no worries. And thankfully I felt no shame or guilt… if anything there was this sense of peace from just doing what God wanted me to do and that was more than enough.

So here’s what I’m going to do – try to share regularly about miracles. I’ll do it on Twitter [tagged #miracle – www.twitter.com/eltonlin] because nobody needs a huge story, just a little tweet on divine craziness big or small. My challenge is just like everyone else’s… ask, listen and go. And it’s out of the simplicity of being near God that miracles will happen. Amen? Amen.