lessons: audience of one
Continuing a series on some lessons I’ve learned during this past season of church planting.
It’s a pretty cliche phrase among preachers: living for an audience of ONE. That one being God of course. And living as if his opinion on our performance is the only one that matters. The problem is that in so many cases [if not every case] the approval of that one means disapproval from all the other ones. And for a recovering people-pleaser that’s a hard burden to bare.
I mentioned in a previous post how so many of my decisions came down to choosing between God and man. It seemed very black and white. I sensed God leading one way with so many [Christians] pointing towards another. And so often, it was as simple as when I chose God, I found his approval, but felt their disapproval. And when I chose them, hoping to get their approval, I never fully got their approval and I knew I wasn’t following God. I felt empty and never really free.
As I finished that season and have move towards another grand adventure, I’m sure I disappointed a lot of people. I didn’t plant the next Asian-American megaplex. We did not break the 100 person barrier. I wasn’t the rising star that some had hoped.
But when I sit with my Father. And ask him what he thinks. He always tells me that he’s pleased with me. That I did well. That he loves me. And I can’t help but to think that I got the point. Surely I didn’t do everything right – far from it. I made a lot of mistakes and course corrected constantly. But by-in-large, I finished feeling like I chose to go with God. And not what pleased everyone else.
I sense this is what this season is about for many of us young leaders. Choosing God over man. Understanding that his approval often means disapproval from others. And really learning to live for an audience of one. And if we don’t get this right, we really screw the rest of it all up. We live trying to meet every expectation, trying to please the un-please-able, and never really free to pursue the dreams that God has placed in us.
A not so fringe-benefit of all this is that we understand just a tiny bit more of what Jesus felt when he was physically on earth. Rejected, scorned, deemed as a failure. But loved, approved and embraced by the one who matters. I realize more and more that it has to be this way. For him and for us.
I promised the next “lessons” post will be more practical and less of this reflection nonsense! Ha.
No trackbacks yet.