resigning

I run into random people who say to me, “I heard you resigned!” And every time I hear it, I never feel like it’s the right word for what has happened these past few months. That word paints a picture of me handing over a letter saying I appreciate working here, but I came across a better opportunity and I’ll have my stuff out in two weeks.

I didn’t resign. In fact, I’d like to think I recommitted to the value of making disciples and leaders. And in so doing, I realized in order for my leaders… my family… my friends… to better embrace the potential, the beauty, the heart that is within them, I need to step away.

I was in two different conversations recently where friends were talking about parents transitioning from “authoritarians” to “influencers” as their kids get older. They no longer make overarching decrees about sleep time and eating vegetables. But parents gradually transition to being mentors and encouragers along the road of life. As their child matures, the authoritarian influences less and less. The mentor influences more and more.

I’m not sure we’ve reached that point entirely… but it’s an apt metaphor for what has happened. I’m very blessed to be a part of their lives. But it’s no longer necessary for me to remind them about their curfew. I still feel the pain when they struggle through areas of life and leadership. And I feel so proud when they flourish in their journeys with Jesus. They’ll make mistakes and regret doing a thing or two [as I did]. But God is doing a good work in them and it’s more appropriate now to witness this from the sideline.

In some ways, I have “resigned”. I don’t get a paycheck anymore. I do not have the title on the bank accounts. But in every other aspect, I haven’t resigned at all. Because Scripture so often uses the imagery of family to represent the church, I can change my role, become more of a mentor and remain a part of the lives of the people that I love deeply.

Now off I go to finding a paycheck…

passing stuff along

I’m in a cafe [as usual]. And I see a woman with two dogs sitting just outside the window I’m next to. One dog is fairly thin for an American dog. Though not sickly… just thinner than normal. And the other dog… well, the other dog looks terrible.

This dog’s face reminds me of a very adorable stuffed doggy I had as a kid. Like that of a baby-husky… very cute, medium length fur, terrific dog smile.

But it seems like this dog just made it out of Europe during the bubonic plague era. His fur is all mangled, uneven; there are huge patches of skin with no fur, where it seems like it’s rashy and sensitive. Half of his tail is missing fur. And there are still obvious remnants around his anal region. His predominantly white fur makes it rather obvious.

I feel sad for him. He’s still wagging his tail though. And as his owner eats her breakfast, he’s waiting for a morsel of mercy to be passed his way. She just now passes a large piece of jammed toast.

And then I look at her. And you know how they say that dogs resemble their owners? Well… she doesn’t quite look as sickly as her dog and being clothed I’m not aware of any patchy, rashy skin [and I’m not working hard to look either]. But from a cursory overview, she doesn’t look like she’s in the best shape. Hair all over the place [like she decided a few days ago that she wanted dreadlocks], borderline obese [choice of breakfast doesn’t help her] and it’s not hard to see that she could afford to wash her clothes more. To say more would be looking too hard and I probably crossed the line of being mean already.

I think it would be unfair to make a ton of snap judgments and over-spiritualized conclusions. I’d just be another of the judgmental masses. But I think it’s safe to say that the people [dogs] that spend the most time around us are the products of our very selves. Who we are will be passed on to those around us whether we like it or not. Which makes our own journey towards health, wholeness and spiritual attune-ness the most important piece in the puzzle. We can never give what we don’t have. And we will undoubtedly give away what we do have… even if it is toxic and life-sucking.